Friendship & puppy love

Vacation? I guess in my case, my version of vacation starts today!
I'm gonna be house sitting for my best friend, looking after her cat while she is away at my ex friends wedding! I hope and know that she will have a blast and I wish the newly weds nothing but good things.

Next week it's time for Stockholm again!
I'm seriously excited for this one. Gonna first visit my new, old friend Anna!
Anna and I have known each other for years now, but never on a "friend" level, but I think we've found each other now and a new friendship is in the making.
Am also really excited cause while I'm in Stockholm, my puppy will be staying with Patrik.
Patrik is the cousin of my very good friend, Jennifer.
My puppy is normally TERRIFIED of men, but Patrik.. she absolutely loves.
Sure, she's a little shy at first but give her a few minutes and she won't let him out of her site.
She has good taste in guys.. Patrik is terrific and I trust him blindly with my little girl!
Will be good for her to be around him. It's good practice for her to be around a man.

Tonight I will be hanging out with my lovely Angelica.
Angelica and I used to work together and I managed to hang on to her afterwards.
It's pretty stupid to let a good person slip out of your life just cause you had "other things to focus on." Love her dearly.

Insomnia

Woke up at 3:10am, wide awake and not about to go back to sleep.

Spent the day at  the beach today with my good friend Thea and her kids.
Love those kids!

Yesterday was Birthday celebrations for my gorgeous friend Linda.
A bunch of her friends gathered at her place before we went out.
Linda and I have known each other for about 5 years.
She is one of the strongest and most positive people I know and she is my inspiration to wake up and fight every morning when I feel like giving up.

I've had a lot of thoughts around "dugs" lately.
I guess it's some what triggered by a person I recently met.
He has been battling a drug addiction for a few years and is finally getting back on track.
It brings me so much strength to see other people pull trough.
It's inspiring for sure.
I wish I was more educated on the "drug" subject.
And I don't mean on "substances" I mean, like, what to look for, what are the signs?
WHY people start and what makes them continue..
Do they somewhere a long the road of their addiction wake up and realize "Shit, what am I doing".
Things like that.
My mother battled alcoholism for as long as I can remember.
So yea, I am one of those "Adult children of alcoholics". (ACA). Go ahead, Google it.
Check out the laundry (Link) list while you're at it. That would be what I am working through.
I've come SUCH a long way through that list since only a year ago!
I was just looking through it now and I thought to myself.. "Wow.. That's actually not me anymore!"
What an awesome feeling!
Anyways.. I would love to just sit down with someone who has been trough a drug addiction, and ask questions.
I would like to be more educated on the matter for my own good..
I want to be able to actively make a choice to not have it in my surroundings.
To be able to recognize it and decide to leave, rather than having someone take the choice from me by simply not knowing what I am around.

Well, that's enough thinking for tonight.

Be smart!

You seem to be perfect!

Crushing....

 

 

 

Closure

So.. It's the end of an era when I say that I am done with THAT part of my life.
I guess I've been done with it for a while, but I'm so used to loving him that I kind of just stuck around cause it was familiar... Does that make any sense?
It would to Sophia.. I know that much ;)

I have more important things to focus on than to peddle back and forth to that unhealthy relationship.
So.. I'm done with it.
My focus is far from him and it feels good to be quite honest.
I'm grateful.
I've never really been the person to put myself first before.
But a good friend of mine told me that I should be the most important person to me.
And I guess he was right. Just took me a little while to agree with him.
But hey.. better late than never, right?
I'm doing SO well with myself and I wanna keep my own focus on ME.
I've lost a little more than 60lbs since Jan 28th now.. That would be 30 kilos.
So I'm past half way to my goal. Feels awesome.
I'm gonna try and get rid of another 15 kilos before the end of the year, so that leaves only 10 kilos to lose before my birthday in may!
Watch me!

There are a few things that I would love to write here, but since my blog is now open to public, I can't! It's nothing major.. Well I guess it is.. But, I'm gonna give it some time and maybe in a little while I might be able to share.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Love!

PT, FL, NJ, NY?

Good morning, good moooorning!
Woke up extra early today to walk the dog and get ready for the gym.
I have a PT session today so need to be both mentally and physically prepared!
My PT had a tendency to absolutely KILL me!
That's alright, I know it's good for me and that neither she or I would push myself longer than I can actually reach. My last PT session I almost fainted.. Yeaaa.. don't wanna do that again!

It's Friday today.. I have NO plans what so ever... I don't think? Or at least what I can remember.. Hmm.. I'm still really craving a visit to FL this year.. Am gonna REALLY try and get money together so I can go visit my wonderful FL family! Just the thought gets me excited!
The thing with me is that whenever I visit the US, I always wanna go to NY and Jersey... for certain reasons.. It's like.. that "what if" feeling that hits me.. You know... I COULD run in to HIM if I go.. So do I really wanna go to the US and NOT go to Jersey?
I do.. But.. I don't? If that makes any sense?
This time I WILL go to FL tho. I haven't been back for SO long and I really miss my family!


Oh well.. Time to go burn some calories!

I always liked that!

This is what you call talent!
LOVE Maria Mena!

Yey Soph!!

Oh em geeee!!
Got the BESTEST news EVER today!
My most important friend and person in the history of me, told me that she will be moving to Sweden next year!
Only for one semester as she takes classes at Uppsala University, but still!
Am so excited I could die!
Sophia is the reason to me being the person I am today, if it wasn't for her, I would have never gotten this far in my recovery. LOVE her to death!
Haven't seen her since I left Cali back in October of last year.
Will be soooooo good to have her close by again!
CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS!

Broken Cellphone & (next) Weekend fun!

Waking up to another sunny gorgeous warm summer day!
Loving life when then sun is out.
It's Thursday.. I have no plans today other than to walk over to Nadjas place to borrow her phone..
My phone is dead and will be forever missed. SUCKS!
Have been without a cellphone for 2 days now.. feel like I'm isolated from the rest of the world!
Whatever did we do before there were cellphones?

Tomorrow Saara and I have a PT session at the gym.
I have a feeling we're gonna get murdered!
My last PT session I almost threw up and fainted. Need less to say but, our PT knows what she's doing! 

Really reaaaally looking forward to next weekend!
Friday my gorgeous Nadja will be having her "moving-in-party".
We'll be chilling at her place, then we're hitting the club!
Will be fun!
Then on Saturday I'm headed off to Stockholm to visit my two Jennifers!
I have TWO!
Saturday - Sunday, I'll be visiting Jennifer. M.
She's one of those really beautiful people who just can do no wrong. She's golden, heart and soul!
I always feel like I can be myself around her, she's 100% drama free and always a joy to be around!
Sunday - Monday I'll be visiting Jennifer. N.
Jennifer and I lived in Santa Monica together, along with Jay!
We got really close really fast and we had FUN! We share SO many gorgeous and fun memories from our time in Santa Monica.. I don't get to see her as much as I would like to now days.. But I still love her just the same!

My little sister might also be home visiting next week, Thursday - Sunday, As I'll be leaving on Saturday I won't get to see her the whole visit, but even if I just get to see her for a few hours, that would be enough for me!
I'm SO proud of her for doing so well and for getting back on track and taking her life back!
Love her dearly!

Florida Cravings

Florida. Heaven on earth?
I haven't been back to FL since my first visit back in 1999.
It was and still is, the best summer of my life.
I met people there that would forever change my life, and me as a person.
it's now been 14years since my summer there.. and I am REALLY craving a trip. ASAP.
I'm blessed to still have the wonderful people I met in FL, in my life.
And I'm really looking to go visit them. Soon.
Was talking to the mother of the family, Suzanne, the other day and we're thinking December - January would be a good time to come visit.
The oldest daughter of the family, Lexy is having her first child in January so would be such a blessing to get to be there for that.
Little Lexy.. I still see her as the little 5yr old who helped me to "break in to" Nick Carters house. Ha!
She's all grown up now! Crazy how time flies!
I reeeeally hope and beg to the universe that things will work out and I will get to visit them in Dec-Jan.
December is and have always been a horrible time of the year for me.. Cause of Christmas..
I really don't do well around Christmas.. Spending the day alone.. while everyone else gets to be with their family.. I don't have a family so it's hard.
So, hopefully.. maybe this year I will have something to look forward to when Christmas is creeping closer.

Anyways. Spent most of the day outside today.
Got up early to go meet Sandra and to FINALLY get my baby girl back.
Sandra borrowed my puppy and It's been really weird to not have her around and snuggled up to me when I go to bed. But now she's back and I'm happy as ever!
Took a long walk with her to the dog park and she got to play with lotts of dogs, so when we got back home she fell right asleep. I took that time to go catch sun with my good friend Thea.
Now I'm just laying in bed waiting for my roomie to get home.
Maybe watch a movie later and just chill.

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it brings me joy!
Hope all of you are well!

Love!

She Shot The Messenger

So.. Messed up weekend!
Scenario;
Friend asks me to talk to her boyfriend about certain events.
I ask boyfriend about things, and tell the boyfriend that I am going to tell my friend about this conversation.
I ask my friend, "Do you want to talk about this now, or later".
Friend wants to talk about it now.
I tell her what her boyfriend has said.
.... I end up being the "Bad Guy" in this. Whaaaaaa...?
Don't shoot the messenger. I did what I was asked to do and still I am the villain?
Makes NO sense what so ever.

Sad and upset..

Sunday - Wednesday

The sun is out again!
It's been raining all night and all day today. I guess it's needed after 3 furiously hot days in a row.
I've had a few really good days now, no anxiety for about a week. Thank goodness!
Sunday was spent with my Angel, Nadja and her son, Dylan.
We took a walk to the city beach area (yes, we have a beach IN the city) spent aaaaall day in the sun!
Monday I had some much needed ME time, just hung out, want for a run and painted my nails.
Tuesday I had plans with my wonderful friend, Sandra.
Sandra is one of my really really good friends. She never judges, never questions  and never makes you feel any less than fantastic! Love her to death! We hung out by the pool for a few hours than headed to IKEA for some shopping, ended our day with a BBQ.
Today I've had the pleasure of babysitting Thea's three kids. They are always well behaved and never give me a hard time.
Now I'm just laying here waiting for the rain to stop. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get to spend some time with the sun again.

I'm missing my fantastic roomie. She and her boyfriend are on vacation. They won't be home until Saturday.

Well, time to finish up.
Love to all!

Reunions

You all know that, heart stopping moment when you see THAT guy? Yea, kinda like that but just a million times more complicated. Let's just leave it at that.

Anyways, my baby sister is visiting this coming weekend. I haven't seen her in month's now and I really am looking forward to seeing her. Last time j wrote about her I have you a little insight on what's going on, since then we have worked on our relationship and were.. I'm doing a little better with her. Makes me happy to see her doing a lot better with herself too.
Love her to death!

I'm also visiting Stockholm this weekend. Spending some time with my gorgeous friend, Jennifer. Haven't seen her in a while now so it's way over do!

Until next time, stay safe!

Summer love

Yea, I'm a really bad blogger for long periods some times.. but I'm doing good. Really good!
I'm finding my way back to my self and starting to work on myself again and I'm happy!

I've moved house!
Am now living at another part of town, same neighborhood as 3 of my best friends, Thea, Angelica and Isabell, the original Isabell!
Been spending a lot of time with my new found friend, Ellinor.
She is an amazing human being. Always happy, talkative and absolutely 100% drama free!
She is the right opposite from me, I'm such a girlie girl, my makeup bag is about as large as another person's suitcase. I have over 40 bottles of nail polish and I do my hair probably 10 times more than what would be considerate "normal". Ellinor on the other hand... not so much! It's good to be around people who are different from you. I learn a lot from people and even more portion people, not like my self.
So I'm beyond grateful to have her in my life.

Summer is finally here and I could not be happier. Feeling the sun on my fave again reminds me of sunny California. I don't miss the life I had there, but I do miss Cali. I miss the good friends I made and the many things there where to do.

So how have you guys been doing?
Enjoying the summer?

Finally made it to Instagram! Make sure to add me! @lindhsie

HappyThankYouMorePlease

Alive

So I know I've been MIA for like.. over a month now. I promised myself when I started this blog to keep any negativity and "bad energies" out of here.
I guess you could see it's part of "the new me" and whom I want people to see me as.
A lot of things have been going on in my life, there for I have had other things to focus on than my blogging. But things are finally starting to look up so felt I could update a little bit and let you know I'm still alive.
I will be back again shortly and give you a more detailed update on things!

Until then.. be safe and treat others like you want them to treat you! Karma is watching!

Blessings

I am filled with so much love, joy and Gratitude that I almost feel I'm gonna burst!
These past three weeks have just been a blessing.
One good thing after another!
Today I found out that I am one of 20 lucky winners to win an unplugged gig with Sweden's Eurovision Song Contest winner, Robin Stjernberg!
I get to bring a friend and I chose Jennifer to go with me.
Jennifer is one of the many great people I met while living in Santa Monica.
She is the only Swede that I met there that I still keep in close contact with.
I knew she loves Robin so it was pretty easy to pick my "Plus 1".

I'm definitely looking at a GOOD week ahead of me.
Friday - Schulman show with Jennifer M.
Saturday - Backstreet Boys 20th Celebrations with the Team.
Sunday - Quality time with Jennifer M.
Monday - Justin Bieber concert.
Tuesday - Off to Jennifer N!
Wednesday - Quality time with Jennifer N
Thursday - Robin Stjernberg unplugged concert!
Friday - I GET MY PUPPY!!!

 

 

 

HappyHappyHappyThankYouMorePlease!!

 

 

Happy Weekend!

This weekend! I can not waaaait for this weekend to get here!
It's a HUGE weekend for fans all around the world and I really can't get more excited about this..
Well, I could.. If I was there in person.. But you get my drift.
My boys are celebrating 20 years as a group.
TWENTY years! This a "Boyband". Practically unheard of!
Many have split up and reunited, but my boys.. My Backstreet Boys.. They have been at it since day one!
Fans in their "teams" all over the world are getting together to celebrate this day, Saturday.
Me and my "team" are meeting up at Jennifers place in Stockholm.
Can't wait to see everyone again and share some good laughs and memories!

On Monday, me and Jenn will find ourselves at the Justin Bieber concert.
I am both excited and a little bit ashamed over this. Ha!
I do love Justin and I think he is extremely talented.. But yea..
Will definitely be a good weekend for us!

 

HappyThankYouMorePlease

My wonderful BFF

Long day. Filled with.. Not much at all.. But yet stressful.
Good things overshadowed by not so good things..
My best friend, Saara ended up at the ER for bleeding intestines.
They have no idea what is causing this. I've been worried all day, and I don't handle worries very well. This the girl struggling with anxiety!
She's been complaining about this for over a week and I've been telling her to go see a Dr. So I'm happy she finally did.. Knowing now that it was this severe.
I hope she will get better soon. I hate knowing that someone I care about, are not doing well.

I love you to death my beautiful BEST friend!!

Cockatoodeldoo!

 

 

 

 

Heartfelt

I don't think there is a bigger compliment in life to give someone, than to trust them with your children. At least not to me.
It brings me so much joy to be trusted with someone's child.
I babysit a lot for my friend's kids. I think it's a give and take kind of situation.
I don't just do it for my friends. I do it cause I love it and I think my friends asks me a lot also, cause they know that I love it.
I mean, I can only base this on me.
If it was MY kids, I would rather trust them with someone whom I know love kids, than to someone who would do it just for me as a favor.
Tonight I watched Doris kids for two hrs while she jetted off to IKEA.
Her kids.. They're my little stars.
The twins are always a joy to be around, and then there is little Alvin.
I have a special bond with him. I got to be there from day one with him where I missed out on over one year with the twins, living in the US.
I love the three of them! They're gorgeous and well-behaved.

I spent the afternoon with Mathilda today.
Mathilda is like a little sister to me. I got to know her while she was dating my little brother.
Now her and my brother are broken up since years back, but her and I are still close.
She means a lot to me. I just feel.. At home when I'm around her.
She's good people.

Tomorrow I have another interview for a job. I don't know much about this job so I can't say much about it. But either way.. I REALLY want a job so of course I hope I'll get it.

On a different note.. I have to express my deepest sympathy and condolences to the people affected in the tragic events that are going on in Boston today.
I hope and pray that something drastic will be done in America to sort out things like this.
To many school shootings and public shootings in general really.
How many more mass murders until something is done.

Legend