The happiness that overflows me is something I will never be able to explain.
It is thanks to these guys that I made it through my childhood.
Forever grateful!
stat
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Like it was even a question
So Ryan Seacrest had a competition on his website.. Or I guess it was more of a battle.
The best boyband of all time was gonna be voted by the fans.
In the final round it was set between My guys, The Backstreet Boy, One direction and The Jonas brothers. And the winner is....
Just goes to show that sticking around and being loyal to your fans for 20 years, pays off!
The best boyband of all time was gonna be voted by the fans.
In the final round it was set between My guys, The Backstreet Boy, One direction and The Jonas brothers. And the winner is....
Ka-Pow!
So.. A lot has been on my mind this week.. And mind you, it's only wednesday.
I have learned the hard way to be cautious about whom I trust and let in to my heart.
I've been backstabbed more times than I can count. I just always want to believe the best in people.
I've hurt people too.. but never with the intention to be crule.. never. I just.. didn't see.
And I have learned from it. And changed my ways.
I had lunch with a friend whom I consider one of the best people on this planet.
She always helps when she can, and even tries to help when all she should be doing, is focusing on herself.
When we get talking, we a lot of times end up talking about pretty deep and serious things.
She told me that she had "friend troubles".
When she explained to me why and what it was.. I did't even know how to respond.
And, I guess I still don't cause it's just that upsetting.
I don't understand, how people who has the honor to be friends with this person, knowingly.. hurts her.
There are not many people like her out there and we, everyone.. we need to look after these few amazing people and nourish them.
Not hurt them and ruin them for everyone else.
It really breaks my heart.
She is going through things of her own at the moment, and I am doing my best to keep her positive towards the future and I try to make her smile when I can.. and for other people to bring more drama her way.. It just..
It makes me want to punch them. Sorry.. Not sorry.
I guess.. I just don't understand how people think?
What they think gives them the right to the things they do..
And if they ever wonder how they would feel if they were the people they were hurting?
I have another friend.. Someone who is even closer to me.. She has also been burned, badly.
Her and I have been friends for about 3 years now.. and I still haven't been able to knock her wall down..
Yet I know where I have her and I feel secure in our friendship.
Her family... They are extremly protective of her do to what happened to her in her past friendship.
Sure, mine and her friendship and situation is very similar to the one she had with the person that burned her.
But I would never. NEVER do to her what this other person did. I don't understand how anyone can.. But obviously it did happen..
The fact that my friend again puts her self in the situation where the same thing could happen again..
Is to me a HUGE sign of character.
I love her dearly and I will always do my best to every day, be a person that maybe one day.. she will let her wall down for.
I have learned the hard way to be cautious about whom I trust and let in to my heart.
I've been backstabbed more times than I can count. I just always want to believe the best in people.
I've hurt people too.. but never with the intention to be crule.. never. I just.. didn't see.
And I have learned from it. And changed my ways.
I had lunch with a friend whom I consider one of the best people on this planet.
She always helps when she can, and even tries to help when all she should be doing, is focusing on herself.
When we get talking, we a lot of times end up talking about pretty deep and serious things.
She told me that she had "friend troubles".
When she explained to me why and what it was.. I did't even know how to respond.
And, I guess I still don't cause it's just that upsetting.
I don't understand, how people who has the honor to be friends with this person, knowingly.. hurts her.
There are not many people like her out there and we, everyone.. we need to look after these few amazing people and nourish them.
Not hurt them and ruin them for everyone else.
It really breaks my heart.
She is going through things of her own at the moment, and I am doing my best to keep her positive towards the future and I try to make her smile when I can.. and for other people to bring more drama her way.. It just..
It makes me want to punch them. Sorry.. Not sorry.
I guess.. I just don't understand how people think?
What they think gives them the right to the things they do..
And if they ever wonder how they would feel if they were the people they were hurting?
I have another friend.. Someone who is even closer to me.. She has also been burned, badly.
Her and I have been friends for about 3 years now.. and I still haven't been able to knock her wall down..
Yet I know where I have her and I feel secure in our friendship.
Her family... They are extremly protective of her do to what happened to her in her past friendship.
Sure, mine and her friendship and situation is very similar to the one she had with the person that burned her.
But I would never. NEVER do to her what this other person did. I don't understand how anyone can.. But obviously it did happen..
The fact that my friend again puts her self in the situation where the same thing could happen again..
Is to me a HUGE sign of character.
I love her dearly and I will always do my best to every day, be a person that maybe one day.. she will let her wall down for.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Watch!
So, I'm a big girl. Have been all my life.
Never really gave a shit cause I've always been happy with myself and it has not bothered me.
But I've gained 5 kilos since I got back to Sweden. No bueno.
So my roomie and I have decided that starting feb, we are going all in and we're gonna start losing those kilos. I have a goal, and thats 30 kilos by the end of July!
That is about 1kilo/week and that is completely doable.
Been starting a little with cutting down on sugar and switching the Pasta and Potatos for veggies.
I'm a big spinach fan so I've been eating a lot of that.
I'm really ready to do this and I am GONNA make it!
Never really gave a shit cause I've always been happy with myself and it has not bothered me.
But I've gained 5 kilos since I got back to Sweden. No bueno.
So my roomie and I have decided that starting feb, we are going all in and we're gonna start losing those kilos. I have a goal, and thats 30 kilos by the end of July!
That is about 1kilo/week and that is completely doable.
Been starting a little with cutting down on sugar and switching the Pasta and Potatos for veggies.
I'm a big spinach fan so I've been eating a lot of that.
I'm really ready to do this and I am GONNA make it!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
The Countdown is on!
So yesterday I woke up to some AWESOME news.
The kind of news I wish I could wake up to every morning.
I haven't mentioned this is the blog before do to the fact that the brother of someone whom I have history with, checks this blog for some reason every now and then.
So I try to be careful about what I write.
Even tho it is non of his or anyone elses business what i write in MY blog.
But out of respect to the person whom I have history with, I try and keep private things out of here.
Anyways, back to the subject.
I haven't mentioned or posted anything about the fact that I am a HUGE Backstreet boys fan.
- Yes! Hand on my heart.
I have been a devoted and loyal fan since I was 11yrs old, I'll be 29 soon.
So thats quite an amount of time.
Anyways.. The news I woke up to was that they, the backstreet boys are about to go on tour again.
- Freakin-awesome!
I haven't seen the boys on tour since 2008 when me and my good friend, Jennifer went on tour with them. We Traveled all around Scandinavia and in the UK.
After that I have missed two, TWO tours!
2009 I moved to the US, they started touring Europe, I move back to Europe, they start touring the US. 2011 I'm still living in Europe, they again go on tour in the US.
2012 I move back to the US... what happens.....? They go on tour in Europe.
- Da Fuq!! Not cool, really not cool.
So anyways. Now I am back in Europe and they are about to go on tour again.
So there is no-way-in-hell I am going ANYWHERE untill I have seen them again.
Now, 90% of my good friends that I have now, are friends whom have never seen the "backstreet side of me". I have not been an active fan for as long as they have known me.
So with that said, they are about to see a COMPLETELY different side of me.
Backstreet world is my happy place.
The place I go to when I need to escape from reality and life a little bit and just, be happy!
They bring me SO much joy.
As my friend Jennifer said yesterday, "Happiness only a Backstreet fan will understand."
Nowdays I can't say that I listen a lot to their music.
It is more about my childhood and my history with them. It is a safe place.
A place I have known for the majority of my life.
So it goes way beyond music with them.
I am writing about this as it is what is going on in my life at the moment.
As everything else that I write about. (I don't know why I said that?)
Anyways.. For whom ever is following my blog;
- Beware! There will be some talk about the boys in my blog for a while.
The kind of news I wish I could wake up to every morning.
I haven't mentioned this is the blog before do to the fact that the brother of someone whom I have history with, checks this blog for some reason every now and then.
So I try to be careful about what I write.
Even tho it is non of his or anyone elses business what i write in MY blog.
But out of respect to the person whom I have history with, I try and keep private things out of here.
Anyways, back to the subject.
I haven't mentioned or posted anything about the fact that I am a HUGE Backstreet boys fan.
- Yes! Hand on my heart.
I have been a devoted and loyal fan since I was 11yrs old, I'll be 29 soon.
So thats quite an amount of time.
Anyways.. The news I woke up to was that they, the backstreet boys are about to go on tour again.
- Freakin-awesome!
I haven't seen the boys on tour since 2008 when me and my good friend, Jennifer went on tour with them. We Traveled all around Scandinavia and in the UK.
After that I have missed two, TWO tours!
2009 I moved to the US, they started touring Europe, I move back to Europe, they start touring the US. 2011 I'm still living in Europe, they again go on tour in the US.
2012 I move back to the US... what happens.....? They go on tour in Europe.
- Da Fuq!! Not cool, really not cool.
So anyways. Now I am back in Europe and they are about to go on tour again.
So there is no-way-in-hell I am going ANYWHERE untill I have seen them again.
Now, 90% of my good friends that I have now, are friends whom have never seen the "backstreet side of me". I have not been an active fan for as long as they have known me.
So with that said, they are about to see a COMPLETELY different side of me.
Backstreet world is my happy place.
The place I go to when I need to escape from reality and life a little bit and just, be happy!
They bring me SO much joy.
As my friend Jennifer said yesterday, "Happiness only a Backstreet fan will understand."
Nowdays I can't say that I listen a lot to their music.
It is more about my childhood and my history with them. It is a safe place.
A place I have known for the majority of my life.
So it goes way beyond music with them.
I am writing about this as it is what is going on in my life at the moment.
As everything else that I write about. (I don't know why I said that?)
Anyways.. For whom ever is following my blog;
- Beware! There will be some talk about the boys in my blog for a while.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The Man in my life
Just got done watching "The Carrie Diaries". I am completely sold.
As a branch in the Sex and the city franchise, It is not ok, by a long shot.
But as a show, it is really good.
I found myself wanting more after the first episode was done, and waiting a whole week for episode 2, is not something I'm looking forward too!
I love sex and the city for a lot of reasons. New York is one of them.
I completely get where Carrie is coming from when she rants about the City.
There is no place in the world that I love more than Manhattan.
I've been to Manhattan 3 times in one year. Halloween, My birthday in may, and halloween again.
I really wanna make it a thing to find myself on Manhattan atleast ones every year, preferably Halloween. It just feels like home to me. I find my way around without trouble. The City has a pulse that I can keep up with without stressing out And last but not least, New Jersey and Clifton is really close by so I would be able to see my friends a lot.
I have SO many memories from New York. Good and not so good.
I don't wanna say bad cause I don't regret anything that happened while visiting NY & NJ.
I am free and happy on Manhattan and some day I hope I can bring my best friends with me and show them what it's all about.
As a branch in the Sex and the city franchise, It is not ok, by a long shot.
But as a show, it is really good.
I found myself wanting more after the first episode was done, and waiting a whole week for episode 2, is not something I'm looking forward too!
I love sex and the city for a lot of reasons. New York is one of them.
I completely get where Carrie is coming from when she rants about the City.
There is no place in the world that I love more than Manhattan.
I've been to Manhattan 3 times in one year. Halloween, My birthday in may, and halloween again.
I really wanna make it a thing to find myself on Manhattan atleast ones every year, preferably Halloween. It just feels like home to me. I find my way around without trouble. The City has a pulse that I can keep up with without stressing out And last but not least, New Jersey and Clifton is really close by so I would be able to see my friends a lot.
I have SO many memories from New York. Good and not so good.
I don't wanna say bad cause I don't regret anything that happened while visiting NY & NJ.
I am free and happy on Manhattan and some day I hope I can bring my best friends with me and show them what it's all about.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
All over
Skyped last night with my mentor and soul sister, Sophia.
She always brings me peace of mind. I could probably go on a rant about her and fill a whole blog entry about how she helped me find my way. But I won't :)
Love her to death.
Am waiting for my new extentions to get here.
Have had short hair now for about a month, and it freakin SUCKS!!
But sooooon I will have long pretty hair again.
It's snowing outside again.
Love it when it's snowing and I don't have to go outside.
It's so pretty.
I love my country and all the nature that's around me.
I like Santa Monica too.. But....!
I'm definitely more of a big busy town girl.
Next time I move somewhere in US it will definitely be East Coast.
The best part about East coast, is the different seasons.
LA has one season... Summer. Pretty much.
I want the different colours of the fall, the snow in winter time and the gorgeous spring time.
She always brings me peace of mind. I could probably go on a rant about her and fill a whole blog entry about how she helped me find my way. But I won't :)
Love her to death.
Am waiting for my new extentions to get here.
Have had short hair now for about a month, and it freakin SUCKS!!
But sooooon I will have long pretty hair again.
It's snowing outside again.
Love it when it's snowing and I don't have to go outside.
It's so pretty.
I love my country and all the nature that's around me.
I like Santa Monica too.. But....!
I'm definitely more of a big busy town girl.
Next time I move somewhere in US it will definitely be East Coast.
The best part about East coast, is the different seasons.
LA has one season... Summer. Pretty much.
I want the different colours of the fall, the snow in winter time and the gorgeous spring time.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Psssh...!
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Like ever...
You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Like ever...
Thursday, January 10, 2013
There it is!!
I found my smile!
It's been missing for about a week now but just like that, it hit me!
Im sitting here listning to Jordan Knight, Demi Lovato and Taylow Swift and just, glowing with positive energy!
It's a GREAT feeling and I am thankful I found my happy place again!
Grateful to have my glow back in time for my friends to need me.
Have 2'two friends who's going through some things right now, and I have positivity enough to cover the tree of us. I am gonna hold on to this feeling like nothing else.
Like attracts like and I want more!
HappyThankYouMorePlease!!
It's been missing for about a week now but just like that, it hit me!
Im sitting here listning to Jordan Knight, Demi Lovato and Taylow Swift and just, glowing with positive energy!
It's a GREAT feeling and I am thankful I found my happy place again!
Grateful to have my glow back in time for my friends to need me.
Have 2'two friends who's going through some things right now, and I have positivity enough to cover the tree of us. I am gonna hold on to this feeling like nothing else.
Like attracts like and I want more!
HappyThankYouMorePlease!!
Everyday
Coming to terms with the feeling of betrayal and abandonment is not an easy task.
Especially not when its fresh and when it hits you with no explanation.
I am still working on this and I am starting to come to terms with it, but there's still a lot of resentment towards that person. I don't think I'll ever get passed that.
And to be honest, I don't think I have to either.
Friends will come and friends will go. I learned that the hard way.
I've had a rough patch for a few days now. Falling a little behind and been struggling with myself.
Had to txt my roomie and apologize for being.. "off".
She responded that she had not noticed anything "off" with me and that I had no reason to apologize.
That felt so good to hear. I don't want my "off" perionds to effect anyone around me.
They are my rough times and they should not have to be someone elses bad mood.
I love my roomie and her daughter. We're like a little family.
I am starting to feel safe here and thats an awesome and rare feeling with me.
Same goes with my BFF, Saara.
I LOVE spending time with her and she makes my days a little brighter. A lot brighter.
Saara and her fiancé have pretty much become a part of my every day.
So much so that not even her fiancé realizes how much time me and Saara actually spend together.
When Saara and I hang out, we don't even really do anything, we chit-chat, play monopolly and watch movies. No need to go out and party or things like that.. we just.. are! So comfortable.
I love her to death and she's one of the best things that ever happened to me. By far.
Especially not when its fresh and when it hits you with no explanation.
I am still working on this and I am starting to come to terms with it, but there's still a lot of resentment towards that person. I don't think I'll ever get passed that.
And to be honest, I don't think I have to either.
Friends will come and friends will go. I learned that the hard way.
I've had a rough patch for a few days now. Falling a little behind and been struggling with myself.
Had to txt my roomie and apologize for being.. "off".
She responded that she had not noticed anything "off" with me and that I had no reason to apologize.
That felt so good to hear. I don't want my "off" perionds to effect anyone around me.
They are my rough times and they should not have to be someone elses bad mood.
I love my roomie and her daughter. We're like a little family.
I am starting to feel safe here and thats an awesome and rare feeling with me.
Same goes with my BFF, Saara.
I LOVE spending time with her and she makes my days a little brighter. A lot brighter.
Saara and her fiancé have pretty much become a part of my every day.
So much so that not even her fiancé realizes how much time me and Saara actually spend together.
When Saara and I hang out, we don't even really do anything, we chit-chat, play monopolly and watch movies. No need to go out and party or things like that.. we just.. are! So comfortable.
I love her to death and she's one of the best things that ever happened to me. By far.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Overcoming
I'm gonna start hitting ACA work again. Hard core.
I've been slipping a little and I find myself in a fall back.
It's only these passed few days that I've fallen back. I was doing really well.
I guess we all have our up's and down's. It's REALLY important to me to keep pushing and working on myself. I don't wanna wake up in a world where I am back where I started.
Had a chat with my mentor earlier today and she comfirmed everything I was feeling.
She said that when it happens to her, when she has a "fall back", it almost feels like we have to get over the person/situation all over again. That is exactly what I feel like and it's really freaking me out.
All the work this past year and a half has not exactly been easy. Especially not these past 8 months, counting after I got over Jordan.
I know that I have years of theraphy and work to do on my self, and it won't be easy.
But I am a survivour and I will overcome.
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take,
relationships we were too afraid to have,
and the decisions we waited too long to make.
HappyThankYouMorePlease
I've been slipping a little and I find myself in a fall back.
It's only these passed few days that I've fallen back. I was doing really well.
I guess we all have our up's and down's. It's REALLY important to me to keep pushing and working on myself. I don't wanna wake up in a world where I am back where I started.
Had a chat with my mentor earlier today and she comfirmed everything I was feeling.
She said that when it happens to her, when she has a "fall back", it almost feels like we have to get over the person/situation all over again. That is exactly what I feel like and it's really freaking me out.
All the work this past year and a half has not exactly been easy. Especially not these past 8 months, counting after I got over Jordan.
I know that I have years of theraphy and work to do on my self, and it won't be easy.
But I am a survivour and I will overcome.
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take,
relationships we were too afraid to have,
and the decisions we waited too long to make.
HappyThankYouMorePlease
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2012 - 2013
The year of HappyThankYouMorePlease.
2012 is the year of my life and I hope that 2013 brings me just as much joy as 2012 did. If not more.
I have met people that have forever changed my life for the better and I am happier, stronger and more secure in myself now than I have ever been.
I wish all of you a happy new year!
Today is the first blank page of 365 days, write a good one!
2012 is the year of my life and I hope that 2013 brings me just as much joy as 2012 did. If not more.
I have met people that have forever changed my life for the better and I am happier, stronger and more secure in myself now than I have ever been.
I wish all of you a happy new year!
Today is the first blank page of 365 days, write a good one!
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