I don't know for how long this time.
Debating on whether I should go back to Santa Monica in January or take next semester off and hang out here for a while.
I have changed SO much since I lived here.
Been through almost 2 years of therapy where I have had basically my whole existence picked apart and am now building a new more healthy person back up again.
I can feel the change in me being back here.
I don't react to things the way I used to and I am more, much more relaxed as a person.
I don't feel the need to please anyone and I live for ME now.
I have understood that I should be the most important person to ME.
It has nothing to do with being self centered or egotistical.
I just simply can't let myself be second to everyone else all the time.
If I don't make sure that I'M ok, I can't ever help someone else feel ok either.
Me, first!
It's nice being back here. Nature and things in general are so much more healthy here.
It's clean and simple and the best thing of all is that I have all my best friends here.
Sure, I have one of two people back in Cali too, that I would consider my best friends.
But my friends back here, have known me and seen me go through things in life.
Its a feeling of security knowing that they know.
They are being really good at letting my past be just that, my past.
They are focusing on now and the future and I could not be more thankful for that.
I still haven't heard from my friends and family in Jersey.
I Have heard from my New York friends, but still waiting to hear from my friends back in Clifton, NJ.
Am worrying and it's keeping me up at night.
I left Clifton JUST in time, 3 days before Hurricane Sandy hit.
Hopefully within the next few days I will hear from them.
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