What If..

Another sleepless night.
I did something I probably shouldn't have done..
I just.. No! I'm not even gonna try to validate that action.
I slipped. Simple as that. And now I'm alone in my head and all kinds of thoughts and memories are flying around. *Face palm*
I know that when my roomie reads this, she's gonna give me THAT look and just shake her head at me. And I'm gonna hang my head in shame.. *shaking my head*.
At least it wasn't a "bad" email.

Oh well..

Something else stuck in my head that was brought up to me a few days ago.
I have a way with kids. All kids love me.. My childhood friend has 3 kids.
Her youngest, Alvin absolutely adores me. The other two loves me also, but little Alvin 2yrs old.. We have a special bond.
Whenever I come over to her place, he always lights up like a Christmas tree, jumps up and just runs at me and hugs me. Love that little guy!
And my best friend has a little girl, 3 yrs old, who asks for me and always smiles when I come by.
I could go on and on about kids that seam to really like me.
Same goes for animals. I guess I'm kind of like.. "Play lady".
Not to serious with the kids and always the one throwing the ball or the stick for the dog to fetch.
And.. My roomie told me the other day that she is concerned/worried for me.
She said something along the lines of that she's worried that I'm gonna end up like her aunt or cousin or something, who also has a way with animals and kids, but that for some reason she ended up never having any kids of her own.
That it would be so typical that for someone who is so good with kids, never to get to have any of their own. I don't remember her words exactly..
but it was something like that. And It just, stuck with me.
What if? What if I don't get to have my own kids one day?
I would be an awesome parent. I know this, but that doesn't serve as any form of reinsurance that I will have any on my own.
I don't know.. I try not to stress over something that have not even happened yet..
But the "What If" question is stuck in my head.

What if..