XOXO

I don't have time to hate the people who hate me.

Because I'm to busy loving the people who love me!

Loved

Just got back from celebrating baby Mollys first birthday!
Can't get enough of that little girl! She just makes me smile.

After everyone had left I stayed behind and hung out with Sandra & Johan, (Mollys parents) for a while. Had dinner at their place and talked. And just like that Sandra hands me this Beautiful Miranda bear! I used to collect them when I was younger but they got so expensive so I had to give it up.
Miranda bears always has these cute little messages printed on their shirts.
This one had a pink shirt that said "Best Friend".
Stuff like this always makes me cry like a baby, but I managed to handle myself.
I got all warm and happy inside and it just ones again proves that I really do have the best friends in the world and that I could not be in a better place than I am right now.
The love I have for my friends can't be put in to words, and I wouldn't wanna try either. I'll rather do my best in trying to show them, each and every day how much they mean to me.
Every single one of you!

 

THANK YOU Sandra!
This means A LOT to me!!

 

 

 

Booked!

You know you're in a good place when it's starting to become hard to plan your week do to having too many friends so you can't fit them all in the same week. Boho.
Sure, I guess I could see all my closest friends every week, but ME time is important to me and not something I am willing to give up.
This week isn't even over yet and I'm almost booked all next week.
Monday seeing my sister, tuesday Hopefully Thea, Wednesday I'm babysitting baby Molly, Thursday laundry day, Friday seeing Nadja, saturday & sunday still open as far as I can remember.
Busy busy busy.
I'm not complaining tho.. Like I said, I know I'm in a good place.
Surrounded by awesome people whom I love and adore.
It can't and won't get any better than this.

Cheers to the freakin weekend!

Little Star

My little star turns one tomorrow!!
I've been invited to Mollys first birthday and I can't help to feel a little proud!
I love the fact that she likes me and that her mommy and daddy trusts me with her.
As far as I understand, there's not that many that her mommy trusts to babysit her, so for me to be one of the trusted ones.. makes me very happy.
I love that little girl!
She's always a joy to be around and I can't wait to see her grow up!
I can honestly say I've never been so excited to go to someones birthday party before!

Babies

Babysitting baby Molly tonight
She's definitely one of the cutest and sweetest babies I know.
She's a easy one to handle too.
Her mommy and daddy left a little before 7pm and after that.. No problem what so ever.
Now, it's not the first time I'm left alone with Molly, so she knows me very well. But still.
I LOVE how her face lights up when I walk in the door at my friends house.
It sparks something in me that I can't really put in to worlds.
It's a good feeling!

I guess the fact that I should have had a 6 months old baby now makes me enjoy being around little ones, even more.
The universe works in mysterious ways, and it decided that this baby.. was gonna have to wait.
Thinking back to it now.. I would probably be better off having a baby with someone who would actually step up to the plate and take responsibility for things.
Which would be the exact opposite from what this other person did.
It don't matter tho. I will always love this person for what he gave me,
- A reason to start on new.

Friendship

I have to LOL at people complaining of them "losing" friends to me.
I think the problem is more on YOU than on me.
I didn't know you could own a friend. Even less that I or anyone for that matter, can have some sort of power over someone that they could make that person leave all their other friends, for just one friend?
And if that was to happen, I think the person leaving the other friends.. is the one with the problem.
Sure, I went away for a year, but I never saw that at leaving my friends.
I always knew.. or thought at least that... It will never matter where I go in the world.
My friends will be my friends regardless of where I am.
In some cases this turned out to be true. Others.. not.
I will never blame anyone or hold it against another person if they decide not to be my friend anymore.
It is their decision and I can not effect that.
My life will go on with or without them.

I keep my friends close. Cause I love the feeling of being surrounded by the people I love the most.
I don't have a family, so to me.. My friends are the closest thing I have to a family.
Some of them I don't see or speak to that often, but that does not change the fact that I love them and will always be here for them, should they ever need me.
It's simply life "getting in the way" of me seeing them as often as I would like.

After I got home I have gotten REALLY close to people I never used to be so close to.
I have been friends with them for years, but our personalities has just not been THAT great of a match.
Now, after a year of learning and growing I am a COMPLETELY different person than I was before I left.
It's a shame that some of the people I thought was closest to me, will never get to know the new and real me. But it makes me so much more grateful that the people who stood by me, are embracing me fully and are seeing me from NOW, not the past.
These are the people I want in my life.
The people whom I know I can trust and be myself around.
People who will not judge me for shit I did years ago.
People who wants to make new memories and live for the future, not the past.
THOSE, are the friends I love and adore.

To everyone else, I wish you happiness and all the love in the world.

Winter Wonder Dogs

Belong

Been having such an awesome time living!
For the first time in a LONG time, I feel that I am exactly where I should be at this very moment.
I LOVE spending time with Isabelle and learning from her.
She's one of the strongest people I know and I look up to her in so many ways.

I've been getting SO much love and support from my friends lately.
It motivates me to do good and to keep at this track.
It must be the most amazing feeling in the world, to know you are loved and appreciated.
The best compliment someone can give you is "Thank you for being you".
Cause that's all we can ever be, ourselves.
It's easy to lose track of who we are.
And it's not the easiest thing to find who we are and who we are supposed to be.
I believe eventually, we will all get there. With a little big of help from people around us.

HappyThankYouMorePlease

Mirrors

Omg he is back and he is just THAT amazing!
Im completely blown away! This is by far the best work he has done till date!
He has been SO missed from the music scene. Everyone who knows me, know that I'm not a fan of the "actor" JT, but as a musician he is, by far one of the best ones out there and this song just proves it! I am.. I, I LOVE this song!!

 

 

Don't pretend you're sorry, I know you're not.

 

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
 

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe
 

♥

 

 

Jersey Girl

I'm a Jersey girl. My heart is Jersey, my soul is Jersey.
I'm just.. maybe a little bit nicer than a lot of Jersey girls...
I've been missing Jersey like a fish out of water, lately.
I don't really know why, cause it's only been 3 months since my last visit.
I just feel free when I'm there. At home!

Like they say, Home is where the heart is.

Wed - Sunday

Dieting is serious business!
I'm working my BUTT off to stay on track. So far, i've lost 10.8 lbs! Since last monday.
I'd say that's pretty damn good. I'm determined to make my goal and I've never been more motivated.
I can do this and I WILL do this. Watch me!

Spent the afternoon yesterday, with my good friend Sandra.
She's one of my very best friends and I love her SO much.
Sandra and I went to college together back in the day. We've known eachother since 2001.
She's one of those people who just make you feel like you're enough. That you matter.
We never used to hang out much before I moved to Santa Monica and changed my life.
Our personalities fit SO much better now that we've both grown. We are both comfortable with ourselves and I think that makes a HUGE difference in our friendship.

Tonight I've been hanging out with BFF.
We made Tacos, played UNO and laughed.
The nights with BFF are the best nights ever. We always have a good time, even if both of us can get really competative at times. But it's all in the name of love and fun and it never gets TOOOO serious... ish ;)
While I was at BFF's place, my little sister contacted me on facebook.
I haven't seein, spoken or had any sort of contact with her for over a year.
I'm not gonna go into detail abot why but I just, have no intrest in having her in my life anymore.
It threw me off a little bit, hearing from her.. But I'm doing my best to get her out of my focus as back in track again.

Tomorrow I'm off to Nadja's place for some girl time.
There's gonna be alcohol and snacks around but I am on a strick diet so for me, there will only be a big bottle of Diet Coke.
Saturday, some BFF time again and on sunday, I am off to spend some AWESOME time with my Backstreet Buddy, Jennifer. I can't wait to see her. We hang out way less than I would like, but I know I will always be able to count on her and I feel really blessed to have her in my life.

Untill we meet again.. x

You Think you know, but you have NO idea!

The happiness that overflows me is something I will never be able to explain.
It is thanks to these guys that I made it through my childhood.
Forever grateful!

Like it was even a question

So Ryan Seacrest had a competition on his website.. Or I guess it was more of a battle.
The best boyband of all time was gonna be voted by the fans.
In the final round it was set between My guys, The Backstreet Boy, One direction and The Jonas brothers. And the winner is....

Just goes to show that sticking around and being loyal to your fans for 20 years, pays off!

Love!

Ka-Pow!

So.. A lot has been on my mind this week.. And mind you, it's only wednesday.
I have learned the hard way to be cautious about whom I trust and let in to my heart.
I've been backstabbed more times than I can count. I just always want to believe the best in people.
I've hurt people too.. but never with the intention to be crule.. never. I just.. didn't see.
And I have learned from it. And changed my ways.
I had lunch with a friend whom I consider one of the best people on this planet.
She always helps when she can, and even tries to help when all she should be doing, is focusing on herself.
When we get talking, we a lot of times end up talking about pretty deep and serious things.
She told me that she had "friend troubles".
When she explained to me why and what it was.. I did't even know how to respond.
And, I guess I still don't cause it's just that upsetting.
I don't understand, how people who has the honor to be friends with this person, knowingly.. hurts her.
There are not many people like her out there and we, everyone.. we need to look after these few amazing people and nourish them.
Not hurt them and ruin them for everyone else.
It really breaks my heart.
She is going through things of her own at the moment, and I am doing my best to keep her positive towards the future and I try to make her smile when I can.. and for other people to bring more drama her way.. It just..
It makes me want to punch them. Sorry.. Not sorry.
I guess.. I just don't understand how people think?
What they think gives them the right to the things they do..
And if they ever wonder how they would feel if they were the people they were hurting?

I have another friend.. Someone who is even closer to me.. She has also been burned, badly.
Her and I have been friends for about 3 years now.. and I still haven't been able to knock her wall down..
Yet I know where I have her and I feel secure in our friendship.
Her family... They are extremly protective of her do to what happened to her in her past friendship.
Sure, mine and her friendship and situation is very similar to the one she had with the person that burned her.
But I would never. NEVER do to her what this other person did. I don't understand how anyone can.. But obviously it did happen..
The fact that my friend again puts her self in the situation where the same thing could happen again..
Is to me a HUGE sign of character.
I love her dearly and I will always do my best to every day, be a person that maybe one day.. she will let her wall down for.

 

Watch!

So, I'm a big girl. Have been all my life.
Never really gave a shit cause I've always been happy with myself and it has not bothered me.
But I've gained 5 kilos since I got back to Sweden. No bueno.
So my roomie and I have decided that starting feb, we are going all in and we're gonna start losing those kilos. I have a goal, and thats 30 kilos by the end of July!
That is about 1kilo/week and that is completely doable.
Been starting a little with cutting down on sugar and switching the Pasta and Potatos for veggies.
I'm a big spinach fan so I've been eating a lot of that.
I'm really ready to do this and I am GONNA make it!

If I knew then what I know now.

The Countdown is on!

So yesterday I woke up to some AWESOME news.
The kind of news I wish I could wake up to every morning.
I haven't mentioned this is the blog before do to the fact that the brother of someone whom I have history with, checks this blog for some reason every now and then.
So I try to be careful about what I write.
Even tho it is non of his or anyone elses business what i write in MY blog.
But out of respect to the person whom I have history with, I try and keep private things out of here.
Anyways, back to the subject.
I haven't mentioned or posted anything about the fact that I am a HUGE Backstreet boys fan.
- Yes! Hand on my heart.
I have been a devoted and loyal fan since I was 11yrs old, I'll be 29 soon.
So thats quite an amount of time.
Anyways.. The news I woke up to was that they, the backstreet boys are about to go on tour again.
- Freakin-awesome!
I haven't seen the boys on tour since 2008 when me and my good friend, Jennifer went on tour with them. We Traveled all around Scandinavia and in the UK.
After that I have missed two, TWO tours!
2009 I moved to the US, they started touring Europe, I move back to Europe, they start touring the US. 2011 I'm still living in Europe, they again go on tour in the US.
2012 I move back to the US... what happens.....? They go on tour in Europe.
- Da Fuq!! Not cool, really not cool.
So anyways. Now I am back in Europe and they are about to go on tour again.
So there is no-way-in-hell I am going ANYWHERE untill I have seen them again.

Now, 90% of my good friends that I have now, are friends whom have never seen the "backstreet side of me". I have not been an active fan for as long as they have known me.
So with that said, they are about to see a COMPLETELY different side of me.
Backstreet world is my happy place.
The place I go to when I need to escape from reality and life a little bit and just, be happy!
They bring me SO much joy.
As my friend Jennifer said yesterday, "Happiness only a Backstreet fan will understand."
Nowdays I can't say that I listen a lot to their music.
It is more about my childhood and my history with them. It is a safe place.
A place I have known for the majority of my life.
So it goes way beyond music with them.

I am writing about this as it is what is going on in my life at the moment.
As everything else that I write about. (I don't know why I said that?)
Anyways.. For whom ever is following my blog;
- Beware! There will be some talk about the boys in my blog for a while.