PT, FL, NJ, NY?

Good morning, good moooorning!
Woke up extra early today to walk the dog and get ready for the gym.
I have a PT session today so need to be both mentally and physically prepared!
My PT had a tendency to absolutely KILL me!
That's alright, I know it's good for me and that neither she or I would push myself longer than I can actually reach. My last PT session I almost fainted.. Yeaaa.. don't wanna do that again!

It's Friday today.. I have NO plans what so ever... I don't think? Or at least what I can remember.. Hmm.. I'm still really craving a visit to FL this year.. Am gonna REALLY try and get money together so I can go visit my wonderful FL family! Just the thought gets me excited!
The thing with me is that whenever I visit the US, I always wanna go to NY and Jersey... for certain reasons.. It's like.. that "what if" feeling that hits me.. You know... I COULD run in to HIM if I go.. So do I really wanna go to the US and NOT go to Jersey?
I do.. But.. I don't? If that makes any sense?
This time I WILL go to FL tho. I haven't been back for SO long and I really miss my family!


Oh well.. Time to go burn some calories!

I always liked that!

This is what you call talent!
LOVE Maria Mena!

Yey Soph!!

Oh em geeee!!
Got the BESTEST news EVER today!
My most important friend and person in the history of me, told me that she will be moving to Sweden next year!
Only for one semester as she takes classes at Uppsala University, but still!
Am so excited I could die!
Sophia is the reason to me being the person I am today, if it wasn't for her, I would have never gotten this far in my recovery. LOVE her to death!
Haven't seen her since I left Cali back in October of last year.
Will be soooooo good to have her close by again!
CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS!

Broken Cellphone & (next) Weekend fun!

Waking up to another sunny gorgeous warm summer day!
Loving life when then sun is out.
It's Thursday.. I have no plans today other than to walk over to Nadjas place to borrow her phone..
My phone is dead and will be forever missed. SUCKS!
Have been without a cellphone for 2 days now.. feel like I'm isolated from the rest of the world!
Whatever did we do before there were cellphones?

Tomorrow Saara and I have a PT session at the gym.
I have a feeling we're gonna get murdered!
My last PT session I almost threw up and fainted. Need less to say but, our PT knows what she's doing! 

Really reaaaally looking forward to next weekend!
Friday my gorgeous Nadja will be having her "moving-in-party".
We'll be chilling at her place, then we're hitting the club!
Will be fun!
Then on Saturday I'm headed off to Stockholm to visit my two Jennifers!
I have TWO!
Saturday - Sunday, I'll be visiting Jennifer. M.
She's one of those really beautiful people who just can do no wrong. She's golden, heart and soul!
I always feel like I can be myself around her, she's 100% drama free and always a joy to be around!
Sunday - Monday I'll be visiting Jennifer. N.
Jennifer and I lived in Santa Monica together, along with Jay!
We got really close really fast and we had FUN! We share SO many gorgeous and fun memories from our time in Santa Monica.. I don't get to see her as much as I would like to now days.. But I still love her just the same!

My little sister might also be home visiting next week, Thursday - Sunday, As I'll be leaving on Saturday I won't get to see her the whole visit, but even if I just get to see her for a few hours, that would be enough for me!
I'm SO proud of her for doing so well and for getting back on track and taking her life back!
Love her dearly!

Florida Cravings

Florida. Heaven on earth?
I haven't been back to FL since my first visit back in 1999.
It was and still is, the best summer of my life.
I met people there that would forever change my life, and me as a person.
it's now been 14years since my summer there.. and I am REALLY craving a trip. ASAP.
I'm blessed to still have the wonderful people I met in FL, in my life.
And I'm really looking to go visit them. Soon.
Was talking to the mother of the family, Suzanne, the other day and we're thinking December - January would be a good time to come visit.
The oldest daughter of the family, Lexy is having her first child in January so would be such a blessing to get to be there for that.
Little Lexy.. I still see her as the little 5yr old who helped me to "break in to" Nick Carters house. Ha!
She's all grown up now! Crazy how time flies!
I reeeeally hope and beg to the universe that things will work out and I will get to visit them in Dec-Jan.
December is and have always been a horrible time of the year for me.. Cause of Christmas..
I really don't do well around Christmas.. Spending the day alone.. while everyone else gets to be with their family.. I don't have a family so it's hard.
So, hopefully.. maybe this year I will have something to look forward to when Christmas is creeping closer.

Anyways. Spent most of the day outside today.
Got up early to go meet Sandra and to FINALLY get my baby girl back.
Sandra borrowed my puppy and It's been really weird to not have her around and snuggled up to me when I go to bed. But now she's back and I'm happy as ever!
Took a long walk with her to the dog park and she got to play with lotts of dogs, so when we got back home she fell right asleep. I took that time to go catch sun with my good friend Thea.
Now I'm just laying in bed waiting for my roomie to get home.
Maybe watch a movie later and just chill.

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it brings me joy!
Hope all of you are well!

Love!

She Shot The Messenger

So.. Messed up weekend!
Scenario;
Friend asks me to talk to her boyfriend about certain events.
I ask boyfriend about things, and tell the boyfriend that I am going to tell my friend about this conversation.
I ask my friend, "Do you want to talk about this now, or later".
Friend wants to talk about it now.
I tell her what her boyfriend has said.
.... I end up being the "Bad Guy" in this. Whaaaaaa...?
Don't shoot the messenger. I did what I was asked to do and still I am the villain?
Makes NO sense what so ever.

Sad and upset..

Sunday - Wednesday

The sun is out again!
It's been raining all night and all day today. I guess it's needed after 3 furiously hot days in a row.
I've had a few really good days now, no anxiety for about a week. Thank goodness!
Sunday was spent with my Angel, Nadja and her son, Dylan.
We took a walk to the city beach area (yes, we have a beach IN the city) spent aaaaall day in the sun!
Monday I had some much needed ME time, just hung out, want for a run and painted my nails.
Tuesday I had plans with my wonderful friend, Sandra.
Sandra is one of my really really good friends. She never judges, never questions  and never makes you feel any less than fantastic! Love her to death! We hung out by the pool for a few hours than headed to IKEA for some shopping, ended our day with a BBQ.
Today I've had the pleasure of babysitting Thea's three kids. They are always well behaved and never give me a hard time.
Now I'm just laying here waiting for the rain to stop. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get to spend some time with the sun again.

I'm missing my fantastic roomie. She and her boyfriend are on vacation. They won't be home until Saturday.

Well, time to finish up.
Love to all!

Reunions

You all know that, heart stopping moment when you see THAT guy? Yea, kinda like that but just a million times more complicated. Let's just leave it at that.

Anyways, my baby sister is visiting this coming weekend. I haven't seen her in month's now and I really am looking forward to seeing her. Last time j wrote about her I have you a little insight on what's going on, since then we have worked on our relationship and were.. I'm doing a little better with her. Makes me happy to see her doing a lot better with herself too.
Love her to death!

I'm also visiting Stockholm this weekend. Spending some time with my gorgeous friend, Jennifer. Haven't seen her in a while now so it's way over do!

Until next time, stay safe!

Summer love

Yea, I'm a really bad blogger for long periods some times.. but I'm doing good. Really good!
I'm finding my way back to my self and starting to work on myself again and I'm happy!

I've moved house!
Am now living at another part of town, same neighborhood as 3 of my best friends, Thea, Angelica and Isabell, the original Isabell!
Been spending a lot of time with my new found friend, Ellinor.
She is an amazing human being. Always happy, talkative and absolutely 100% drama free!
She is the right opposite from me, I'm such a girlie girl, my makeup bag is about as large as another person's suitcase. I have over 40 bottles of nail polish and I do my hair probably 10 times more than what would be considerate "normal". Ellinor on the other hand... not so much! It's good to be around people who are different from you. I learn a lot from people and even more portion people, not like my self.
So I'm beyond grateful to have her in my life.

Summer is finally here and I could not be happier. Feeling the sun on my fave again reminds me of sunny California. I don't miss the life I had there, but I do miss Cali. I miss the good friends I made and the many things there where to do.

So how have you guys been doing?
Enjoying the summer?

Finally made it to Instagram! Make sure to add me! @lindhsie

HappyThankYouMorePlease

Alive

So I know I've been MIA for like.. over a month now. I promised myself when I started this blog to keep any negativity and "bad energies" out of here.
I guess you could see it's part of "the new me" and whom I want people to see me as.
A lot of things have been going on in my life, there for I have had other things to focus on than my blogging. But things are finally starting to look up so felt I could update a little bit and let you know I'm still alive.
I will be back again shortly and give you a more detailed update on things!

Until then.. be safe and treat others like you want them to treat you! Karma is watching!

Blessings

I am filled with so much love, joy and Gratitude that I almost feel I'm gonna burst!
These past three weeks have just been a blessing.
One good thing after another!
Today I found out that I am one of 20 lucky winners to win an unplugged gig with Sweden's Eurovision Song Contest winner, Robin Stjernberg!
I get to bring a friend and I chose Jennifer to go with me.
Jennifer is one of the many great people I met while living in Santa Monica.
She is the only Swede that I met there that I still keep in close contact with.
I knew she loves Robin so it was pretty easy to pick my "Plus 1".

I'm definitely looking at a GOOD week ahead of me.
Friday - Schulman show with Jennifer M.
Saturday - Backstreet Boys 20th Celebrations with the Team.
Sunday - Quality time with Jennifer M.
Monday - Justin Bieber concert.
Tuesday - Off to Jennifer N!
Wednesday - Quality time with Jennifer N
Thursday - Robin Stjernberg unplugged concert!
Friday - I GET MY PUPPY!!!

 

 

 

HappyHappyHappyThankYouMorePlease!!

 

 

Happy Weekend!

This weekend! I can not waaaait for this weekend to get here!
It's a HUGE weekend for fans all around the world and I really can't get more excited about this..
Well, I could.. If I was there in person.. But you get my drift.
My boys are celebrating 20 years as a group.
TWENTY years! This a "Boyband". Practically unheard of!
Many have split up and reunited, but my boys.. My Backstreet Boys.. They have been at it since day one!
Fans in their "teams" all over the world are getting together to celebrate this day, Saturday.
Me and my "team" are meeting up at Jennifers place in Stockholm.
Can't wait to see everyone again and share some good laughs and memories!

On Monday, me and Jenn will find ourselves at the Justin Bieber concert.
I am both excited and a little bit ashamed over this. Ha!
I do love Justin and I think he is extremely talented.. But yea..
Will definitely be a good weekend for us!

 

HappyThankYouMorePlease

My wonderful BFF

Long day. Filled with.. Not much at all.. But yet stressful.
Good things overshadowed by not so good things..
My best friend, Saara ended up at the ER for bleeding intestines.
They have no idea what is causing this. I've been worried all day, and I don't handle worries very well. This the girl struggling with anxiety!
She's been complaining about this for over a week and I've been telling her to go see a Dr. So I'm happy she finally did.. Knowing now that it was this severe.
I hope she will get better soon. I hate knowing that someone I care about, are not doing well.

I love you to death my beautiful BEST friend!!

Cockatoodeldoo!

 

 

 

 

Heartfelt

I don't think there is a bigger compliment in life to give someone, than to trust them with your children. At least not to me.
It brings me so much joy to be trusted with someone's child.
I babysit a lot for my friend's kids. I think it's a give and take kind of situation.
I don't just do it for my friends. I do it cause I love it and I think my friends asks me a lot also, cause they know that I love it.
I mean, I can only base this on me.
If it was MY kids, I would rather trust them with someone whom I know love kids, than to someone who would do it just for me as a favor.
Tonight I watched Doris kids for two hrs while she jetted off to IKEA.
Her kids.. They're my little stars.
The twins are always a joy to be around, and then there is little Alvin.
I have a special bond with him. I got to be there from day one with him where I missed out on over one year with the twins, living in the US.
I love the three of them! They're gorgeous and well-behaved.

I spent the afternoon with Mathilda today.
Mathilda is like a little sister to me. I got to know her while she was dating my little brother.
Now her and my brother are broken up since years back, but her and I are still close.
She means a lot to me. I just feel.. At home when I'm around her.
She's good people.

Tomorrow I have another interview for a job. I don't know much about this job so I can't say much about it. But either way.. I REALLY want a job so of course I hope I'll get it.

On a different note.. I have to express my deepest sympathy and condolences to the people affected in the tragic events that are going on in Boston today.
I hope and pray that something drastic will be done in America to sort out things like this.
To many school shootings and public shootings in general really.
How many more mass murders until something is done.

Legend

A good scare

It's almost 3am and I'm still up. And wide awake too..
Just walked my best friend to her car. She was here watching a Movie with me.
This is the first night alone in this apartment and everyone who knows me, know that I don't do well alone.
For many reasons really.. But mainly cause of my anxiety and the fact that I get REALLY bored. I hate living alone..
I do best in a roomie living arrangement.
Of course, I love my "alone time" just as much as the next.. But I still want someone around.. Close bye.
I love noise and around me. The sound of traffic, Music or just.. "city noise".
I could NEVER live on the country side where things are "nice and quiet".
Anyways.. Saara and I watched two scary movies.
"The haunting in Connecticut 2", and "Mama".
Mama... Now that is some seriously fucked up shit! Finally a GOOD scary movie!
Like most scary movies, the ending was a bit.. meh.. but all in all a really good scare!

Tomorrow is Sunday and also my favorite day of the week do to the fact that every Sunday,
Saara and I spend between 5-6hrs at the gym.
Tomorrow won't be the same, Saara is sick and won't be able to make it.
I REALLY want to go, so probably will go for a while, not the whole 6hrs, but at least for one or two sessions.
All the work I'm putting in is definitely starting to show! I am starting to actually like the way I look.
I know I have a LONG way to go, but the fact that I am starting to feel good about my self, means a lot to me.
I am happier and stronger as a person. For sure!

It feels a bit weird not hearing Isabelle talking to her gamers over the computer.
Or having Cayenne walk in telling us something about something on the computer or. I never know.
I've grown fond of the noises and sounds of home now..
And not having little Bons around feels REALLY strange.
I love that dog! He is definitely one of a kind.
Soon I will have my own little puppy to care for. I think that will be good for me.

HappyThankYouMorePlease

Random thoughts

I worry myself sometimes with my thoughts.
This might sound like the strangest thing to most of you.
But I am a firm believer in "The Secret" so to me in makes perfect sense.
"Ask and you shall receive". Even in religion it's there.
It mostly happens late at night when I have trouble falling a sleep.
My mind starts to wander and I end up thinking about situations and people I should not be thinking of. Mainly there's this one person I am referring to.
Most of the people who know me, also know who I am talking about.
THAT guy.
I can't help it! He is just, THERE.
It's not like I lay down at night and go, "Oh, I'm gonna think/dream about HIM tonight".
NO.. If I had any say in this.. he would not be a part of it.
I can't help to think what it means tho.. As I after all this time, STILL can't get him out of my mind.
I mean.. I.. I don't know what I mean.. It just confuses me.
And since I am thinking of him this much lately.. It kind of worries me that the next time I visit Jersey.. There he'll be.
And my thoughts and feelings on that.. it extremely split.
Part of me would really like to see him and hear how he is doing, while the rest of me thinks it would be a REALLY bad idea.
Oh well.. It's not really good to worry about things that have yet to even happen.

Anyways.. Tomorrow I will be taking a drug test, as my criminal record will be checked AND I will be tested on my stress level and my ability to simultaneously do many things at the same time.
I am not a person who handles stress very well so I'm kind of.. Stressing about it.. Ironic, huh?

Well.. Time to take another shot at sleep.

In a past life

That one friend

 

 

You are til date, the most important person in the history of me!
Without your help and support, I would not be the person I am today.

I thank you, for being there for me.