That ONE guy

One of those days when things could have gone better.
It's basically been a long day.
Haven't done much at all, but felt like this day would never end.

Been really.. I don't know how to explain it.. Not missing someone, but missing the times with him?
If that makes any sense?
His brother tweeted something about him, and ofcourse loads of other people joined in on that tweet and before I knew it my whole twitter feed was filled with his name.
It was just, hard.
I still love that guy, but I'm not IN love with him.
Took me almost a year to get over him, but with loads of support and comfort from his best friend, I did it.
I guess you never truly stop loving that one guy.
I have a very complicated situation/past with him and that probaby doesn't help.
But I still think that everyone has that one person that they will always have a place for.
It especially hits me every time I go back and visit Clifton, New Jersey.
Or every time I talk to or hang out with his friends.
I do ok tho, and they are very understanding and supportive of the whole thing and make sure not to mention him to much around me. Extremely grateful for that.
I mean hell, I would have had a 3 months old baby by him right now.
Now, when I have a prespective on the whole thing, It's probaby a "good" thing that it didnt go that way, but I would have wanted to have the choise to make that decision on my own.
I guess the universe works in mysterious ways.
I do congratulate him on his graduation from the fire academy and wish him all the best in the world.