Random thoughts

I worry myself sometimes with my thoughts.
This might sound like the strangest thing to most of you.
But I am a firm believer in "The Secret" so to me in makes perfect sense.
"Ask and you shall receive". Even in religion it's there.
It mostly happens late at night when I have trouble falling a sleep.
My mind starts to wander and I end up thinking about situations and people I should not be thinking of. Mainly there's this one person I am referring to.
Most of the people who know me, also know who I am talking about.
THAT guy.
I can't help it! He is just, THERE.
It's not like I lay down at night and go, "Oh, I'm gonna think/dream about HIM tonight".
NO.. If I had any say in this.. he would not be a part of it.
I can't help to think what it means tho.. As I after all this time, STILL can't get him out of my mind.
I mean.. I.. I don't know what I mean.. It just confuses me.
And since I am thinking of him this much lately.. It kind of worries me that the next time I visit Jersey.. There he'll be.
And my thoughts and feelings on that.. it extremely split.
Part of me would really like to see him and hear how he is doing, while the rest of me thinks it would be a REALLY bad idea.
Oh well.. It's not really good to worry about things that have yet to even happen.

Anyways.. Tomorrow I will be taking a drug test, as my criminal record will be checked AND I will be tested on my stress level and my ability to simultaneously do many things at the same time.
I am not a person who handles stress very well so I'm kind of.. Stressing about it.. Ironic, huh?

Well.. Time to take another shot at sleep.